teetering and tottering .... the between season

The Spring Equinox was officially a happening a few days back and yet for so many places the burst and fanfare has not arrived.  If you are truthful there are signs that winter is giving way to spring.  Look around and truly see.

What is the power of these between seasons?  What can we learn from it?  Where can it take us?  In our rush to move from the introspection of winter to the burst of spring and trying out our new insights do we miss the opportunity of stretching into the dance?  If you were to pause for a time and lay out all your new sparkling insights what dance would unfold?

This winter has been filled with transitional insights for me.  I went from a 9-5-work week with spillover weekends filled to the brim to days devoid of any obligations.  I struggled with finding my rhythm in this cacophony of ideas.  Each day would bring with it a new insight of how I tick internally, what spiritual practice unlocked the deepest me, and which identity wasn't me.  After four full months I can say the Between Season, teetering and tottering is becoming a favorite.  

The long nights of winter gave me the opportunity to sit in the quiet dark space.  From there I watched the movie of what had been me for over 20+ years.  The movie had drama, crime, romance, and several comedic moments played by distinguished characters all with the same last name.  Several months were spent in the cutting room, deleting scenes no longer real, deflecting urges to keep the status quo, fights over keeping to the "real" story, and embracing the right to let go.  Soon the quiet dark space was lit and the urge to push through and move out into the world with what I knew took center stage.  Was it really time for this discovery to take the stage?  Was there still incubation to be done?  What about more of more?  

To be honest I love spring, the deep rich scents of life rebirthing, the starkness of winter being danced into light, songs bursting forth from the long silence and the lingering heat from a sun long dormant.

What I have discovered is there is another lesser known season, the Between Season.  It happens 4 times a year, slips by during the midst of much moaning and holds so many jewels.

I decided to pause, peak, and play with this Between Season.  What I found amazed me.  
Taking my sparkling insights I laid them all out in the morning sun that tangoed with the clouds. I watched as they began to morph into speckled blue eggs, dark brown seeds, and molten moss.  Guided by the natural flow of the snow and rain, I placed the seeds deep into the moss covering them with the eggs.  Opening the door a breeze came to tweak and ruffle these new insights, causing me to notice the seed dangling from beneath as an egg rolled precariously towards the edge.  At that moment I realized my rush to open the door to release my insights into the world was premature.  In my haste I would have lost an insight still needing time to find its place before embarking.  

The dark insightful spaces of winter allow us to gather, reflect and nurture ourselves.  It is not really a scary, unforgiving time.  Our ancestors used this time wisely drawing upon it for renewal, reflection, and a deeper connection to Source.  They did look forward to the springtime yet they knew it was best to not rush forward.  They used the Between Seasons.  We can use them.  As you find yourself drawn to toss away the extra blankets, heavy sweaters and reflective time ask if it is really time.  Does your sparkling insights need more discovery?  Are they ready to birth?  Can this longer sunlight shine upon another insight you missed?

Spring is a season of rebirth.  You cannot birth anything that you have not planted, nurtured and embraced.  Use this time to prepare the soil, nests, and you for the birthing that will soon come.  Give it permission to find its rhythm, releasing the identity to rush allows for deeper discovery.  Find the beauty in the simple tiny hint that transition is happening and will carry your insights to a full and brilliant life.  Ask with honesty what have you left back in the dark winter?  Is there yet another opportunity to revive a wildness and nurture it to full bloom?  Can your identity rebirth who you really are?

The Between Season asks us to pause, gather, quench and allow all that we have discovered in our winter reflection to find its own rhythm of birth and rebirth.  There will be time to rejoice in the first sprouts.  Be mindful.  Allow the pause, the between, the rhythm of the teeter totter.   Discover that who you are is the brilliance of spring.

xoxoxo ~ The Soul Traveler

Uncovering next steps

The other day I reflected on the changes going on in my life and how I use simple rituals to move through the fears.  I also spoke about several online classes I took in preparation for moving my dreams, my passions forward.  Those classes brought with them their own set of fears, needs, and ah ha moments.  

Life has always brought to me many of the same concerns, fears, and needs that others experience.  And to some it seems like I am just sailing down the river…  well shit sherlock not always true.  I have acquired a keen sense of what can ail me in certain junctions or scenarios.  I acquired this sense by really spending time getting to know my still small voice - My Soul.  

The writing class I am taking has a piece of daily work called morning pages.  It is really the trash can where all those thoughts, lies, negative beliefs go so that the real creativity floats to the top.  Well what also shows up for the trash can are those moments in your life where you may have had soul loss.  And on one day this week up sprang the imagine of me trying desperately to spit out an A&W order I wanted to place.  Now I am not 8 years old placing this order, I am a licensed teenage driver.  I discovered a profound fear of talking into mechanical devices when I needed to acquire a service, advise, find information or just plan order a burger during puberty.  I was deathly afraid of calling someone and appearing like I did not know what I was talking about or how to ask a question of them.  This then led to a fear of talking into the speaker to acquire a simple lunch order.  If I was talking directly to the person,,,,,, not one bit of fear.  I eventually worked through the fear without the help of my laughing brothers but apparently something was still there.  

This fear still was lying deep within my psyche.  Is it really a fear of "oh my god I have to talk to a stranger"?  Hell no there isn't a stranger in my life. It is really the fear of not being able to physically see what they think of me.  Sounds silly, I know.  But a serious block to creativity and …. shit life for that matter!

For those who know me, there is so very little I am not willing to do.  I quit a well paying job and moved to follow my dreams, train people, hold workshops, offer one/one sessions, work customer service like it has never been worked, and generally know exactly how to welcome and ease others into pretty scary places.  You see back then it wasn't the fear of the unknown it was the fear of showing how much I may not know and being laughed at… something I am sure most of us have experienced.  Growing up in a very competitive home with expectations of being brighter than your sibling for someone sensitive built many defenses, fears, and blocks.  So now this piece that I thought had been covered in previous deep work is up front and center asking me to see it.  

Being a shamanic practitioner I looked to see if it would require deep work and surprisingly I found that the deep work had been done.  What was needed was an embracing and welcoming of this young woman.  This young woman needed a voice and recognition of her sensitivity and needs.  Puberty brings with it so many changes that can baffle and challenge you.   Having no where to go or no one to seek guidance adds layers that eventually need to be cleared.   All the prior healing work I had done and the deep relationship with my soul combined with a bloodhounds nose, I can quickly and smoothly recognize the issue, source the solution, embrace it, and welcome the next adventure.  Traveling through my life with my soul leading brings balance, joy, fulfillment and awe.  The ingredients to a stellar life where the right answers aren't needed.

I gave this young woman a voice with my morning pages. I gave her an embrace and told her there was no reason to know everything.  I told her how what I knew I knew with all my heart and this life isn't a test to see who comes out with the most A's.  My life is about joy, experience, heart, and fun.  I told her the race never ends until our last breath so whatever we want to learn we have plenty of time.  Embracing her I assured her there is no shame in not knowing the answer.  And finally I told her the joy is in discovering the question.  And then ….. she talked…..

The Soul Traveler